Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
