There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
