My Higher Power is John Stamos
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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