Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm going to jail i love you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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