your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
