it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
