Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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