he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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