you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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