Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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