evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
