called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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