i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
