Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
