Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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