What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
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