Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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