First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
