just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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