pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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