I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
