I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
