No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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