But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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