Ambien. No doubt about it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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