So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize