Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hippo gnu deer
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
