sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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