her vagine was all disorganized.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
