the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
