i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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