Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
