god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
