in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
