I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Screwed.edu
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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