the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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