eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
