hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
