just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Who died my cat blue again?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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