if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
