Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
