i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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