He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
