hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
