i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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