my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
