I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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