dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
