you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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