Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
where does the pee come out of this thing
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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