OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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