He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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