that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
