It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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