dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
