bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
