So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
