That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i need some magic done to my vagina
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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