I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
