I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
