Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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