just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
