You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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