ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
