Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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