so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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