White coat. Heels.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
