Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask