Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
